Are you getting married in a Lango traditional marriage soon? Are you here because you going to attend one soon? Either way, this article will cover the Lango traditional marriage Nyom Tekwaro, all the beauty that surrounds Lango culture and all the different details you need to know.

Uganda is a beautiful East African country with diverse ethnic groups that speak different languages, and have different cultures and customs when it comes to weddings, marriage and family customs and practices.

The Lango are a plain Nilotic group that is predominantly found in the Northern part of Uganda. Historically, polygamy was the ideal type of marriage among the Lango, and the number of wives a man had was an indication of his wealth and social status. More and more families are now, however, embracing monogamous marriage. Currently, the Lango traditional marriage, as part of Lango cultural practices, is celebrated in two different ways, with some still practicing the old process and some practicing a mixture of old and new traditions and revisions.

Search for the bride (Moyo Nyako/ Nyom Amoa)

The marriage process starts with the man’s search for a bride. In the past, the man’s parents were in charge of looking for a suitable wife for their son to marry. They would conduct this search among families of their friends, neighbors, and acquaintances. This type of marriage is called Nyom Dyere.

Sometimes children were betrothed from an early age and as they grew they were informed of the arrangements that were made. Nyom Dyere is no longer as popular today among the Lango but is still practiced by some families. The reasoning behind this style of search is that it was believed to protect family lineages from genetic diseases, witchcraft, early death, and laziness that were sometimes associated with other families.

Today, most families allow their children to make the choice of marriage partners for themselves. The son can decide to marry whoever he wants to, regardless of tribe, religion, race, or even nationality. In instances where the bride is not Lango, the Lango traditional marriage process might not be done because the woman’s traditional marriage customs are usually the ones that are followed. If, however, the bride and groom are both from Lango, the Lango traditional marriage process can commence.

Engagement (Rango Nyom/ Rango Nyako)

In the past, the Aoor, would spy on the bride to evaluate her performance in household chores, her hospitality, discipline, and even signs of hereditary diseases. He would even investigate if she had any cases of theft. These days his role is restricted to being a bridge and mediator between the two families and handling all negotiations and communication between them during the Lango traditional marriage process.

After the Aoor is selected, he, together with the groom, and a few groomsmen visit the woman’s family home to make his interntions to have a Lango traditional wedding known to her family.

Nowadays, however, the woman will have informed her family before the visit about the man and his intentions since a lot of the youth have adopted the Western marriage proposal. This is where the man gets down on one knee and asks for the woman’s hand in marriage and then puts a ring on her finger if she accepts. This proposal is now popular and precedes the traditional process, so the date that the groom will visit the woman’s family is now usually communicated, and agreed upon.

On the first visit to the woman’s family home, the groom carries a sum of money which is to be given to the bride-to-be by the Aoor . If the woman accepts this money, it is considered an acceptance of his marriage proposal. She takes the money and gives it to her mother, who gives it to her father to keep for her. This money is hers and will be given back to her after the visit is concluded. The money is to be used by the bride to buy dresses or any other items she would like to have or use to beautify herself during the traditional marriage process.

The bride is also able to reject the money offered and thereby reject the man’s proposal. However, these days, since an initial “western” proposal is already accepted prior to this visit, on this occasion, her acceptance is assumed.

After the first visit, the girl is usually given a few weeks, usually three to four, to decide if this is truly the man she wants to marry. She is thoroughly questioned about her certainty about the man and any information found about him is made known to her to help her make her final decision.

If she realises that she does not want to marry the man, she is allowed to return the engagement money that she was given and the marriage process would therefore be canceled. If, however, she decides that she wants to go ahead, the groom’s party visits again, and the traditional marriage process continues.

In some families, this three-to-four-week period where the woman is given time to think about her decision is no longer practiced, and the list of bride price is immediately given to the groom on his first visit, he also comes with the meddo which is a payment that is usually made on the second visit but is now sometimes done on the first visit as well.

Second Visit & Instalment (Meddo Nyom)

When the groom’s party comes for the second visit, they bring a sum of money with them called Meddo. This sum of money is for the bride’s kin and has to be greater than the amount that was given to the bride. It is given to the mother of the bride by the Aoor , she then gives it to the father of the bride, or a paternal uncle or her elder son in case the father of the bride is no longer alive.

The Meddo is distributed among the bride’s kin as appreciation for raising and protecting her. During this meeting, the girl’s Clan Sub Chief (Jago Atekere) and other local community leaders are invited as witnesses, and the amount of money paid by the groom in this second installment is recorded in the clan’s marriage registry. The other purpose of this second payment is to further establish the relationship between the two families.

After the second payment is concluded and recorded, the bride’s family gives an assessment or list of dowry items required. This list is called Ngollo nyom. Before it is given to the groom and his party, they are expected to first pay a fee called Cente me leb alam which means money for the ink used to write this list. It is also sometimes referred to as Cente me Ngollo nyom which translated to English means money for the dowry assessment.

After this fee is paid and the groom is given the dowry list, he is usually not to negotiate it at that meeting but to first go back to his home and discuss it with his father and kinsmen. If the groom’s family needs to negotiate the dowry list, another visit is arranged. If they are okay with the list, “word” is sent by the Aoor to the bride’s family with a date for when the items will be delivered.

 

• 6 to 12 cows but this number can go as high as 20 or more depending on the family,

• 6 to 12 goats or even higher,

• 1 or 2 big saucepans called Nyal Ber which translated into English means “childbearing is good”,

• 2 garden hoes, 2 chickens preferably two big cocks (Gwen pel),

• two spears called tong pel which means spear of the navel,

• a suit for the bride’s father, the shoes and tie are optional and the groom can decide whether or not to add them,

The list also usually includes cloth for the bride’s mother. The items on this list are collectively referred to as (Lim Nyom). In some families, other items like soap and sugar are asked for but these are not traditionally required.

Confirming the bridewealth (Neno Dok)

Today, a lot of families accept cash in place of cows and goats on the dowry list at a Lango traditional marriage. However, in families where cattle and goats are still required instead of cash, a date is communicated to the bride’s family by the groom’s family through the Aoor for when the bride’s kinsmen can pay a visit to the groom’s home to inspect the animals.

On reaching the groom’s home, the groom’s party has to give the bride’s kinsmen a sum of money (Cente me Opwoc) which means money for entering into the kraal. This payment is intended to cover the cost incurred by the bride’s kinsmen when their clothes get dirty from entering the kraal.

After they are given this money, the bride’s kinsmen proceed into the kraal and observe the cows and then do the same with the goats, making sure the animals are to their satisfaction. When this inspection is completed, a small celebration is held for the bride’s party at the groom’s home to welcome them and they are sent back with a big thigh of a bull as a sign of love and friendship from the groom’s family. A date is also agreed on for when the groom’s kinsmen will deliver the dowry to the bride’s home.

In the past, during this stage, the bride would also have to go and stay with her in-laws where she would be tested on her ability to perform household tasks and ‘sexual obligations’. It is also at this stage that she would become pregnant. However, with education and adoption of female rights beliefs, this part is no longer practiced by most families, and the visit from the bride’s family only includes inspection of the livestock in families where livestock is a requirement.

Taking the Bride Price (Tero Dok/ Kollo Dok)

When the bride’s dowry is delivered, the male representatives of the bride’s family will assess it. In families where a monetary bride price is preferred to livestock, the males representing the groom’s family and those representing the bride’s family gather in a room and assess if the monetary amount that is given and all other items have been brought as required.

It is important at this stage that the groom makes sure that everything delivered is as agreed upon from the negotiations that were held prior because the final step cannot be allowed to happen if it is not completed as agreed. If everything is assessed and confirmed to be satisfactory by the bride’s kinsmen, the last step can commence.

The Conclusion of the Lango Traditional Marriage (Tweyo Nyom)

After the dowry is confirmed, celebrations are held where the two clans, relatives, friends, neighbors, and acquaintances celebrate the couple. There is a lot of dancing, (maybe even some Lango traditional dance) singing, and feasting. The two clans also perform their respective chants which show that the couple are not relatives. After this celebration, the groom accompanied by one of his close friends is allowed to come and pick up his bride from her family home on a set date, however, these days, some families, prefer a church wedding to be held before the couple moves into their marital home.

Church Wedding (Nyom Kanisa)

Most families today in Lango and in Uganda have adopted the church wedding which is usually done after the traditional Lango marriage. In Lango, and among most Ugandan tribes that have adopted this wedding, a date is usually set a few weeks or months after the traditional wedding and the usual church process is observed, in church where vows are exchanged along with an exchange of covenant rings. The ceremony is witnessed by family, relatives, and friends, followed by a reception where the couple’s union is celebrated.

Lastly…

The Lango traditional marriage is a huge occasion and also a process that can last a number of weeks. As the years have gone by, a lot of Lango families have made adjustments to the way the Lango Traditional Marriage is carried out, and the marriage looks different from family to family, depending on the steps they have chosen to continue or drop, or new practices they have chosen to adopt.

All in all, it is an occasion filled with color, and a continuation of Lango the family unit in Uganda.

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